Humility

I had a rather humbling visit to the local market the other day.

Just that morning our Khmai lesson was on bargaining at the market. So full of confidence I set off on my ‘new to me’ bicycle to get a few things.

We were advised to always remain friendly and smile when bargaining. In my first encounter I fixed my face with the required silly grin and proceeded very enthusiastically to bargain the price up! The young sales girl, to her credit, could have simply agreed straight out and taken the extra money. She obviously felt embarrassed and sorry for me as I kept insisting on a higher price and eventually she said in English ‘just one and half dollar’. Momentarily confused I handed over the money and then realising how ridiculous I appeared, hurried off making a mental note never to shop at that stall again.

When I got to the vegetable stall the words I was confidently repeating in class totally escaped me and I found myself stammering and pointing, unable to name a single vegetable.

I must have appeared too eager to leave when retrieving my bike from the parking space and so the attendant, quite rudely I thought, tapped me on the shoulder and gruffly said ‘money’ in English. Stumbling with my load of vegetables I paid him the 300 riel (7.5 cents). Someone evidently saw my flustered state as I put my purse back into my bag and then into the basket of my bike. Less than a minute later as I was riding back home, I looked down to see that my bag was opened and the purse gone.

I had managed to make an idiot of myself at the market and then been the sucker who was an easy target for an observant pick pocket.

In this rather basic task of buying a few things at the market, I was anything but confident and in control. It was frustrating and embarrassing and made me feel like hiding at home.

When we are humbled some will take advantage of us and some will be kind or pity us. Neither is easy for our pride to take.

I came across this quote from Brother Lawrence.

‘When our conversation, our very relationship with God, matures to this level of understanding, we will thank Him with full gratitude for everything He has ever done to humble us. We will welcome whatever God may do to help bring our hearts into conformity with His heart.’

It would seem that I have a lot more maturing to do. I’m finding many of my current humbling experiences quite difficult and am often feeling less than thankful for them.

I’m not sure if all these humbling cross-cultural experiences are ‘bringing my heart more in conformity to God’s heart’ but I guess I can choose how I respond. I can get more and more frustrated and angry as if the cause for my discomfort is all external, a problem with others or this culture. I can bunker down or venture only into situations where I feel comfortable and in control. By associating only with those with whom I can communicate confidently it ensures I retain my image of competence and significance. I can turn the tables by refusing to speak my few words of Khmai and forcing others to use my language. In this way I can exert my power as a white, English speaking guest and demand service on my terms.

Or maybe it’s okay to not feel in control, to receive what others can teach me, to be the learner who inevitably makes mistakes. Maybe finding myself dependent and childlike is exactly where God’s transforming work in my heart is most likely to occur.

Strangers and Aliens

Here in Cambodia this last month we have once again found ourselves in a 'strange' situation. We don't yet speak the language, don't know where things are or how things are done and can't communicate enough to ask.

We have been setting up house pretty much from scratch as we brought very little with us from Australia. Buying household items is not just a matter of going to the nearest Westfield shopping centre where everything can be found in one location. These things seem to be spread around various markets or specialty shops and can be quite hard to find. Despite the inherent power that comes with our financial resources, education, help from other members of our team here and the advantage of being native English speakers we have at times felt the frustration and powerlessness of being foreign.

Tasks that are simple in my home situation become significantly more difficult. I've wanted to send some post card for weeks but so far have been prevented by unexpected hurdles. The postal system is not like in Australia. My investigations have revealed that there are no newsagents selling stamps, no red post boxes, no mailmen on motor scooters, no letterboxes in front of people's homes and no guarantee that the mail will get to the intended receiver. Apparently buying stamps, posting the card and receiving your mail all has to be done at the one central post office. But where exactly is the post office? What is the word for post office and how would I make the motorbike taxi or tuk tuk driver understand where it is I want to go?

Praise the Lord for email.

With days full of language study, trying to buy essential items that I often don't know where to find, heat, the demands of cultural adjustment and moving a family to a totally new home and environment, the challenge of a trip across town to locate the post office has been something I haven't had energy for as yet.

The inability to achieve some 'simple things' can be quite disempowering. I have felt out of control and very dependent on others. It's like being a child again.

This small taste of the vulnerability of being a stranger has reminded me again of what first motivated us to get involved with supporting refugees who came to settle in Adelaide. Twenty years ago we had our first significant experience of being foreign. We spent a month in Thailand doing a student placement in a leprosy hospital. We couldn't speak the language, often didn't know what was going on around us and felt incompetent and out of our depth. We started reflecting on how much more traumatic it must be for people who have been through unspeakable horrors and had to flee their homeland to come to a strange country where they know no one, can't communicate and are not even sure they are welcome. They need a local friend who can be an entry point into the new country so they are no longer strangers.

The scriptures have a lot to say about strangers and aliens. 'Do not oppress an alien. You yourselves know how it feels to be aliens because you were aliens in Egypt' (Ex 23:9); '....the alien mist be treated as one of your native born, love his as yourself.....for you were aliens in Egypt' (Lev 19:33.34); ' Do not deprive the aliens or fatherless of justice' (Deut 24:17). The prophets pronounced judgement on those who oppressed the aliens. They were often placed in the same category as widows and orphans, indicating they were seen as vulnerable. The Israelites had already tasted the powerlessness of being foreigners and so compassion for strangers in their land was expected.

I think empowering the vulnerable, turning strangers into friends and offering transforming hospitality is very close to God's heart. Isn't that what He does with all of us? God holds out His hands to us and invites us into His community transforming us from uncertain and insecure strangers into family.

May this current discomfort of being a stranger reignite in us God's welcoming compassion to all find themselves far from home.