Words

Do you ever feel tongue tied? Lately I’ve found it hard to make my thoughts coherent or feel confident in expressing them, especially when I speak in Khmer. I often become quite shy and introverted, not knowing what to say next, at times avoiding situations where I will be expected to carry on a deeper kind of conversation. A lot of this has to do with not having the fluency and vocabulary to express myself as I would like or to fully understand what is said to me. I am concerned that I will say something stupid or offensive because I’m not competent enough to speak sensitively in the language. I feel in some ways my personality changes in this other language and I can’t quite be myself. I guess it’s like that for others when they are speaking in a language not easy for them. It makes me wonder how I can really know people when they are relating to me in English if it is not their first or most comfortable language. How can I know their real self?

When I write in English, even though I feel confident in the language, I also hesitate out of fear of what others may think. I am concerned that I will hurt or offend or fear that I will be misinterpreted. 

Speaking or writing in a public way takes courage. There is real power in having a good command of a language in order to express and exchange ideas clearly. Teaching language, literacy, writing and confident communication to people opens up the world to them and them to the world. This is real empowerment.

I have a Khmer friend who cannot speak. She lost her speech after sustaining neurological damage in a traffic accident. It has also affected her arms. She knows three languages but can only express herself by typing on a computer with one finger or texting on a mobile phone. Although very intelligent, this accident has dramatically impacted her sense of self, her mental health and her confidence to meet people and express her ideas. My prayer is that she will grow in courage to engage more with the world that is now available to her through technology both for her benefit and also for the benefit of those who can learn from her. I want to see her empowered to find her voice. 

I wonder how we can more effectively use what skill we do have in language and communication to promote deeper thinking, greater understanding and more generous living. 

At my sister in law’s funeral she was quoted as saying ‘great words are great deeds’. She had a PHD in English literature and loved words. 

We are often told that deeds speak louder than words but in my life words have been profoundly helpful. Words have conveyed the love and the message and the ideas that have brought me meaning, comfort and inspiration for life. 

There is certainly a time for living out the words and simply being in a silent way, a time for presence. A time when no words are adequate or when the pain is too great to articulate. Words do have their limitations. We can only speak of what we understand and know. We speak in response to the words of others. Listening too is a great power. I have found that when we ask powerful questions we can draw out the ideas of others and empower them with their own words. Communication, the speaking and the listening, can be a most profound act of love.

One of the most beautiful passages in the Bible proclaims that ‘The Word became flesh and dwelt among us’ (John 1:14). Jesus is the Word. God created though His Word. God said let there be and there was. Words have incredible power and Jesus shows us in his embodiment of the Word that God longs for communication with us.

May God empower us, through His Spirit, to listen and receive. May He also release our tied up tongues and fill us with the courage to speak words of life and love.

Sitting Still

Ay is forced to be still. She sits alone for hours waiting for her mother to return from work so that she can be fed and helped to the bathroom. A progressive muscle wasting disease has left her with a little hand function and an active mind but no ability to do the things that most young women take for granted or fulfill the roles expected of her. Thankfully a smart mobile phone and facebook provide some connection with the outside world. It is also a distraction from the constant grinding and whirring of saws from the metal working shops that surround the little upstairs room she now shares with her mother and younger brother.

Not only does Ay endure this loneliness, discomfort and boredom, she carries the loss of her previous life and her family’s dreams for the future. Ay was finishing university when she became ill, progressively getting weaker and weaker. Her mother spent all their money, sold their house and borrowed from others, going from doctor to doctor both in Cambodia and in neighboring countries desperate to find a cure. When they eventually came to Mercy Medical Center they still had no clear diagnosis despite many costly investigations and useless treatments proscribed by doctors more concerned with profit than patient care. It was heartbreaking to tell them this is a progressive condition for which there is no cure and no expensive medicine will make any difference. All we could offer was physiotherapy, prayer and a willingness to be friends for the long and difficult road ahead.

There are plenty of painful and unjust situations here in Cambodia that I long to see changed. At the same time I am recognizing more and more the need to be patient and endure the frustration of going slowly so that we can learn as we go and move at the pace of those we travel with.

In a world that emphasises action, efficiency, instantaneous results and constant stimulation it can be hard to hear the call to stillness, quietness, waiting and patient endurance. The scriptures are full of these themes (Col 1:11; Ps 37:7; Isa 30:15). We are encouraged to develop these qualities and pray for the power to endure and persevere.

There is a need for wisdom and discernment about what things we are to endure or persevere in and what we are to confront and transform. I believe it is in the stillness and quietness that we find this clarity.

Recently, while visiting Ay, a Khmer colleague and I shared with her the story of Jesus at the home of Martha and Mary. We talked about how, although Martha was busy doing what was expected of her as a woman and hostess, Jesus praised Mary for sitting at His feet and being a devoted learner.  Ay had expressed her sadness at the impact her disability had on her family and how she felt she was a burden. Through this story, however, she could see that in the eyes of God she was a beloved child and a student of the Lord able to spend her days at his feet, listening and learning and this was more important that anything else she might do.

In the business, noise and demands of our lives may we also risk stepping outside the expectations of others as we take time to quietly sit at Jesus feet and learn from him.

Calling and Leading: Some reflections

I have been spending some time with a small group that came to Cambodia with Interserve for two weeks of exposure to medical mission. They were all considering whether medical mission work across cultures in Cambodia or elsewhere was for them. A great group who really engaged with everything they encountered along the way.

I reflected with them about call and leading. For me call is what happens when we decide to be Jesus’ followers. We are of course saved by grace, but there is no doubt that God has a plan for each of us to be a part of what God is on about in the world. This is our calling and I think it should remain broad, general and encouraging. But clearly it is not an option or a choice for us to decide on. It is part of the package we ‘signed on for’ when we decided to be followers of Jesus. Keith Green had a song with lyrics:

Jesus commands us to go,
It should be the exception if we stay.

These words have inspired generations of people to be part of ‘mission’ in other cultures and countries, but I’m sure left many more feeling they weren’t obedient and desperately trying to explain to others and themselves that “we all can’t go”? Keith Green’s passion and all-or-nothing approach inspired my generation but perhaps his legacy got confused in the ‘go’ and what that really meant.

Today, mission is used everywhere in the church, and perhaps it is overused and thereby in danger of losing its meaning (“If everything is mission, then nothing is mission” - Stephen Neil) but what it does do in many circumstances is make people open to how they can serve God where they are. That is, to intentionally and strategically seek to bear witness to Jesus and his ways.

Leadings are the various directions that God takes us along this journey of following his calling on our lives or our discipleship to Jesus. God leads us into various expressions of our overall calling during our lives and these are the tasks, roles, places, and ministries that we are involved with in our local communities and across the globe. God leads us where he wills and we choose to follow. We should do some discernment with our faith community, our friends and mentors. We should pray and seek clearly God’s leading for our lives. In a sense this process is constant for all who “seek to follow Jesus”, certainly something we do regularly along the way, and should be a part of the regular life of Christian communities.

Is this just ‘playing with words’? Perhaps, but the importance of the distinction becomes clear for me when people say “I don’t feel ‘called’ to mission work” (ie cross cultural mission in Cambodia). This can then lead to them thinking they are not called to ‘mission’ in general. Indeed perhaps they are not ‘lead’ to mission work in Cambodia but they are called to mission – it’s part of their discipleship. The question for them is where is God leading them to serve.

So, we are called to follow Jesus as disciples. He is the one leading us to serve in mission.

Siem Reap

Siem Reap, the home of the famous Angkor Wat temple complex, now welcomes around 2 million tourists a year and is bursting with luxury hotels, restaurants and entertainment clubs. Yet it remains one of the poorest provinces in Cambodia. Where is all the money going? I guess there are some local people working for minimal wages cleaning hotels and serving in restaurants but on the whole the money leaves the province into the hands of foreign owners or wealthy national business people. There are some serious flaws in that old ‘trickle down’ theory.

This was all starkly illustrated to me recently while on a visit to the Siem Reap provincial referral hospital with a group of doctors and medical students from New Zealand. The hospital is a 2 minute walk down the road from the key tourist strip. It’s like going from one world into another. One minute we were strolling through a trendy tourist area with scantily clad foreigners breakfasting in the open air cafés. The next we were amongst weary, confused families camping outside dilapidated wards. They looked tired and anxious as they cooked their food on little clay pots and hung their washing on any tree or post they could find. Many had spent more money than they could afford just getting their sick family member to the hospital. They then needed to pay for any procedure or medicine deemed necessary which often means selling assets or going into debt. If they can’t pay they will have to pack up their ailing loved one and head home. This major regional government hospital is very poorly resourced. They reuse gloves and needles in some wards to keep expenses down. Patients are denied blood transfusions if they cant replace the blood through a donation from a family member. There is an x-ray machine but no CT or MRI scan and very little in the way of other diagnostics. Many of the staff are poorly trained and often struggle with low morale due to their pitiful wages and lack of professional support. The intensive care unit has no ventilator machines, the nearest one being in Phnom Penh, 6 hours away by road. That’s a long time to bag air into someone who is not breathing adequately on their own. Unusually someone that sick will simply be left to die.

One of our IS team members has been working at this facility training and equipping the midwives to improve maternal health and bring down the high number of unnecessary maternal deaths. It’s been hard, frustrating and at times heart breaking work but things are starting to turn around as she gently guides and models different approaches and encourages the very poorly paid midwives to do the best they can.

I wondered how many of the tourists had any idea about the misery just down the street or thought about where their dollars were going.

If you are planning a visit to the wondrous temples of Angkor, pack a box of surgical gloves and think about sparing a litre of blood. The provincial hospital welcomes donations.

A Vision of the Kingdom of God

Here in Cambodia we talk about transformational development. We have a vision of a Cambodia where all kids can have good nutrition and grow strong. That all kids can have education and all adults can access good health care. A vision of reconciled enemies, of good parenting and peaceful communities. Where the majority poor can have access to some of the resources of the minority rich. Where people are paid a fair wage and their rights are protected. A place where people have secure tenure of their land free from the threat of eviction. I want to see people coming into a transforming relationship with God and embarking on a life of discipleship following Jesus.

This is a vision of the Kingdom of God for this place and God is at work here transforming evil into good, enmity to friendship, poverty to sustainable lives, and brokenness to fullness in Jesus. God's at work here and it’s exciting to be a part of it.

Life in the Kingdom

Henri Nowen talks about “two kinds of death” – one into the Kingdom of God and one into Hell. Dying into ‘new life’ always seems a strange way of entering the kingdom. To have life in the Kingdom we need to ‘give life away’. Jesus teaches this in a number of ways – seeds rely on death before bringing new life, coming to God in simplicity as children, ‘giving everything away’ to really know God, and selling “everything” to buy the field with the treasure or the pearl of great price.

What does this mean for us as Jesus followers?

Matt 11 came to me:
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

It encourages us to take our place and be deeply connected with him and get into what is happening in his Kingdom. It’s a voice of encouragement to those of us who are “weary and carry heavy burdens” – “I will give you rest”. Not a rest of doing nothing, but rather a rest because we are yoked with Jesus. He will help us and we will get our lives aligned with him. This life is “easy and the burden light”. Sometimes it doesn’t feel so light or easy – but the promise remains.
This is life in the Kingdom.

Real Communication

Since moving here to Cambodia I have been surprised how many people in the international missions community have low-level Cambodian language skills. Even some 10-15 year ‘veterans’ can’t do the most basic teaching and training, tasks in Khmer let alone preaching and leading more complex conversations. Many can of course and their hard work learning the language, understanding culture and bringing the two together into meaningful conversations means they are confident to share at depth directly with Cambodian people.

Common reasons given are: “There was so much work to do I just had to get right into it”, “they all understand English anyway and they learn faster than I ever could”, and “I have a great translator”. All good pragmatic reasons but one wonders if they would have been more effective in the their work and ministry communicating directly into Cambodian language

Recently Rachael was asked to give a lecture at the National Physiotherapy conference. They assumed she would use English and they assigned her a translator. At just under the two-year mark she is well short of being able to deliver such a speech in Khmer so the offer was kindly accepted. Notes were sent off three weeks before to be translated and for familiarisation of the material by the translator.

She met the translator before the meeting and speaking in Khmer together it became clear he had misunderstood the key concepts of her paper. She was speaking about brain ‘plasticity’ – the ability of the brain to re-learn basic tasks like speech and movement through systematic ‘training’ activities post trauma - in the context of working with patients with strokes, head injuries and other neurological conditions. He, however, had translated the concept as having brain ‘surgery’ to correct the problem.

It showed clearly how, even in their field of expertise, many of the concepts we want translators to communicate are really tricky. Let alone the translators who are just good English speakers and have to translate in fields outside their direct knowledge area.

I have been reminded again of the importance of language and culture in communicating ‘information for transformation’. I know it makes the mission process more challenging and elongated but the outcomes just have to be better in the long run. So who wants to ‘put their hand up’ for lots of preparation and learning to come and serve the people of Cambodia?